Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize