I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
