Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
