they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think your dad took our porno
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
