fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
