Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
