Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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