had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
