How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
