we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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