I want to walk on stilts...naked
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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