I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
