A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
