I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
