What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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