Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
even my farts smell like vagina
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
