look no pants
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
