Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
