Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize