Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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