It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
