apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
