Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
They have beer where we have blood.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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