arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
