I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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