i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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