I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
