If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Floor bacon is actually really good
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize