You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
