Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I didn't notice because vodka
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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