Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
