i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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