Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you never un-have a 4some
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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