I'm lost and stupid without you.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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