I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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