He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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