The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
