Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
