i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
