YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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