Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
