we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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