Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dignity is for republicans.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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