I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
