I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
