birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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