Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
3pm strippers are depressing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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