Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
