...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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