Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You were trust falling into bushes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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