i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
