Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
