I heard we made out
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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