youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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