she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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