You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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