is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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