Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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