before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
