you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
