If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
